Self-esteem

Is high self-esteem the key ingredient to your child’s success?

Published: February 28, 2013

New research reveals heaping on the praise on your child doesn’t necessary lead to happiness down the road

Praising children, especially those with low self-esteem, for their personal qualities rather than their efforts may make them feel more ashamed when they fail, according to new research published by the American Psychological Association.

“This type of personal praise may backfire. What may seem like common sense can sometimes lead adults astray in their attempts to help children with low self-esteem feel better about themselves,” said lead researcher Eddie Brummelman, MS, of Utrecht University in the Netherlands. The study was published online in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.
The study found that children with low self-esteem often received praise for their personal qualities, and that type of praise can trigger greater feelings of shame from failure and may lead to a diminished sense of self-worth.

In one experiment, 357 parents in the Netherlands, ranging in age from 29 to 66, read six descriptions of hypothetical children — three with high self-esteem (e.g., “Lisa usually likes the kind of person she is,”) and three with low self-esteem (e.g., “Sarah is often unhappy with herself”). The participants were told to write down the praise they would give the child for completing an activity, such as drawing a picture. On average, the parents gave children with low self-esteem more than twice as much praise directed at personal qualities (e.g., “You’re a great artist!”) than they gave to children with high self-esteem. They also were more likely to praise children with high self-esteem for their efforts. (e.g., “You did a great job drawing!”)
“Adults may feel that praising children for their inherent qualities helps combat low self-esteem, but it might convey to children that they are valued as a person only when they succeed,” Brummelman said. “When children subsequently fail, they may infer they are unworthy.”

A second experiment illustrated that point. The researchers recruited 313 children (54 percent girls) ranging in age from 8 to 13 from five public elementary schools in the Netherlands. Several days before the experiment, the students completed a standard test that measures self-esteem. For the experiment, the children were told they would play an online reaction time game against a student from another school and that a webmaster would be monitoring their performance via the Internet. In reality, the computer controlled the outcome of the game, and the children were divided into winners and losers, including groups that received praise for themselves, praise for their efforts, or no praise.
In the group where the children were praised for their personal qualities, the webmaster wrote, “Wow, you’re great!” after the students completed one round of the game, whereas the children whose actions were praised were told, “Wow, you did a great job!” The group that received no praise served as a control. After a second round, the children were told they either won or lost the game, and they completed a survey about their feelings of shame. Children who lost the game experienced a sharp increase in shame if they had been praised for their personal qualities, especially if they had low self-esteem, compared to the other groups.
The researchers theorized that children who are praised for their efforts may not associate their self-worth with success, so failure is viewed as a temporary setback or a lack of effort rather than a flaw in their character. Brummelman said the study results may apply generally to children from most Western countries, including the United States, but the results may be less applicable to Eastern countries, such as China, where adults may use different approaches for praising children.

The differences between praising a person and praising his or her efforts may be very subtle, but those differences can have a big impact on children’s self-esteem, said study co-author Brad Bushman, PhD, a communication and psychology professor at The Ohio State University. Therefore, parents and teachers should focus on praising children for their efforts rather than their personal qualities, he added.
“In general, it is better to praise the behavior rather than the individual,” Bushman said. “If you praise the individual and he fails, it can cause shame and may inadvertently send the message, ‘I am a bad person.’”

ᔥ American Psychological Association

Article: “On Feeding Those Hungry for Praise: Person Praise Backfires in Children With Low Self-Esteem,” Eddie Brummelman, MS, Utrecht University; Sander Thomaes, PhD, Utrecht University and University of Southampton; Geertjan Overbeek, PhD, Bram Orobio de Castro, PhD, and Marcel A. van den Hout, PhD, Utrecht University; and Brad J. Bushman, PhD, The Ohio State University and VU University Amsterdam; Journal of Experimental Psychology: General; online Feb. 26, 2013.
Full text of the article is available from the APA Public Affairs Office and at
http://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/xge-ofp-brummelman.pdf

Facebook is Not Such a Good Thing for Those with Low Self-Esteem

Published: February 1, 2012

In theory, the social networking website Facebook could be great for people with low self-esteem. Sharing is important for improving friendships. But in practice, people with low self-esteem seem to behave counterproductively, bombarding their friends with negative tidbits about their lives and making themselves less likeable, according to a new study which will be published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science.

“We had this idea that Facebook could be a really fantastic place for people to strengthen their relationships,” says Amanda Forest, a graduate student at the University of Waterloo. She cowrote the new study with her advisor, Joanne Wood. The two are generally interested in self-esteem, and how self-esteem affects the kinds of emotions people express. People with low self-esteem are often uncomfortable sharing face-to-face, but Facebook makes it possible to share remotely.

In one study, Forest and Wood asked students how they feel about Facebook. People with low self-esteem were more likely to think that Facebook provided an opportunity to connect with other people, and to perceive it as a safe place that reduces the risk of awkward social situations. [continue reading…]

Too Much Undeserved Self-Praise Can Lead to Depression

Published: October 19, 2011

Accurate Assessments for Poor Performance Better for Self-Esteem, Research Finds

Image: istockphoto

People who try to boost their self-esteem by telling themselves they’ve done a great job when they haven’t could end up feeling dejected instead, according to new research published by the American Psychological Association.

High and low performers felt fine when they assessed themselves accurately, probably because the high performers recognized their strengths and low performers acknowledged their weaknesses and could try to improve their future performance, according to a study in the October issue of the APA journal Emotion. [continue reading…]

Are young people too focused on boosting self-esteem?

Published: January 7, 2011

Young people may crave boosts to their self-esteem a little too much, new research suggests.
Researchers found that college students valued boosts to their self-esteem more than any other pleasant activity they were asked about, including sex, favorite foods, drinking alcohol, seeing a best friend or receiving a paycheck.
“It is somewhat surprising how this desire to feel worthy and valuable trumps almost any other pleasant activity you can imagine,” said Brad Bushman, lead author of the research and professor of communication and psychology at The Ohio State University. [continue reading…]

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