With Mother’s Day on the horizon, what is it that makes for the special bond between a mother and her sons? From the moment I held each of my sons in my arms I vowed that nothing would come between me and my child. So what is it that makes for the essential qualities of a continuing close bond between mother and son?

A mother’s trait of simply “being there” was mentioned most frequently by young men as critical in how close they were to their moms — whether that meant talking about romance, discussing faith or picking a college major, according to a Baylor University researcher.

The new TV series Bates Motel (inspired by Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho) is provoking talk about mothers and sons, it’s a good time to consider what makes for closeness (or not) in that parent-child bonding, says Mark T. Morman, Ph.D., a professor of communication studies in Baylor’s College of Arts and Sciences.
Conversation is crucial in bonding between mothers and sons, with the most prominent topic that of relationships, said Morman, whose study on the topic was published in the Journal of Family Communication in 2012.

That’s very different from father-daughter relationships, which tend to revolve around such shared activities as sports, he said.
Mothers also mentioned “social support” as vital to their connection with sons, Morman said.
“There are a variety of reasons to believe that mothers specifically influence their sons in a host of significant ways” — including on such issues as antisocial behavior, use of alcohol and suicidal thoughts, he said.

For the most part, mothers and sons in the study were in “remarkable agreement” about incidents they saw as critical — among them social support, family crisis, divorce, son maturing and son leaving for college or becoming physically distant for another reason, Morman said.
Here’s a look at incidents that are pivotal:

“BEING THERE”

One son wrote that when he got into a fight in high school, “this created a lot of tension between my dad and myself. My mother helped communicate between us, and she was understanding of my situation. I was able to confide in her, and we have been close ever since.”
Another said he grew close to his mother as she helped him lose a great deal of weight in elementary school.
For another son, “the biggest moment was probably struggling with my faith in high school and being able to communicate with my mom.”
Support during or after a breakup with a girlfriend was mentioned by several sons.
In one case, a son’s choice of girlfriend caused strain for the mother. “However, that relationship eventually ended, allowing him to meet and marry the wonderful young lady that is now an amazing part of our family,” the mother said.

HARD TIMES

Family crisis —such as illness, injury, death or problems with the authorities — emerged as the second largest category of responses among sons and mothers, with several men mentioning times when their mother’s health was at stake.
“My mother was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer two years ago,” one young man related. “I was a junior in high school, and I became distinctly aware that I could lose my mom forever.”
One mother recalled a time she yelled at her son and humiliated him because he did not seem to be trying during homeschooling. “He began to cry and said that he was stupid. At that point I knew that I was the stupid one . . . I realized that his spirit was more sensitive than I knew. It made me love him and be careful to affirm him much more after that.”

OUT OF THE NEST

Physical distance — such as when a son left for college — was the category that drew the third largest response for sons, with many reporting the miles actually brought them emotionally closer. “Something like, ‘you don’t know what you have until it’s gone,’” one son wrote.

A SON’S A SON TILL HE TAKES A WIFE

For mothers, meanwhile, a son’s marriage was the third most frequent pivotal time, with other changes in closeness occurring when a son matured, went to college or became a father. One woman said that her son’s marriage to “the perfect daughter-in-law” made it easy to stay close, but “in a different way.” Another woman said her “strained relationship” with her son changed when he joined the military — “mainly because the Army helped him to grow and mature as a young man.”

DISCORD

Conflict, whether in shouting matches or the silent treatment, sometimes drove mothers and sons apart, but it often had an upside as they worked through differences.
“I became close to my mother in high school when she caught me sneaking out of the house to go hang out with friends,” one son wrote. “At first, it distanced us. But as I came to realize her forgiveness, my relationship with her became closer.”
On a side note, conflict resolution sometimes takes an unusual twist — as in with the young man who invited his mother along on the senior trip. To find out more about that — and about romance as a talking point between moms and sons — view embedded videos with Morman at: http://www.baylor.edu/mediacommunications/news.php?action=story&story=129291

***STUDY METHODOLOGY

Study participants were 139 sons and 68 unrelated mothers, with the sons being at least age 18. Mothers were asked to write about a memorable time they shared with their sons, while sons were asked to relate one about their mothers.
Analysis of the sons’ responses produced a total of 130 different items, with most reporting only one critical incident. Mothers’ responses totaled 72 items. While many reported only one incident, others reported multiple events.

ᔥ Baylor University

Thinking about death can cause us to feel a sort of existential angst that isn’t attributable to a specific source. Now, new research suggests that acetaminophen, an over-the-counter pain medication, may help to reduce this existential pain.

The research is published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science.

According to lead researcher Daniel Randles and colleagues at the From hockey riots to David Lynch films, a new study explores the causes and potential remedy for existential dread. Credit University of British Columbia[/caption], the new findings suggest that Tylenol may have more profound psychological effects than previously thought:

“Pain extends beyond tissue damage and hurt feelings, and includes the distress and existential angst we feel when we’re uncertain or have just experienced something surreal. Regardless of the kind of pain, taking Tylenol seems to inhibit the brain signal that says something is wrong.”

Randles and colleagues knew from previous research that when the richness, order, and meaning in life is threatened — with thoughts of death, for instance — people tend to reassert their basic values as a coping mechanism.

The researchers also knew that both physical and social pain — like bumping your head or being ostracized from friends — can be alleviated with acetaminophen. Randles and colleagues speculated that the existentialist suffering we face with thoughts of death might involve similar brain processes. If so, they asked, would it be possible to reduce that suffering with a simple pain medicine?

The researchers had participants take either Tylenol brand acetaminophen or a sugar pill placebo in a double-blind study. One group of participants was asked to write about what would happen to their body after they die, and the control group was asked to write about having dental pain, an unpleasant but not existentially distressing thought.

All the participants were then asked to read an arrest report about a prostitute, and to set the amount for bail.

Just as expected, the control group that wrote about dental pain — who weren’t made to feel an existentialist threat — gave relatively low bail amounts, only about $300. They didn’t feel the need to assert their values.

On the other hand, the participants who wrote about their own death and were given a sugar pill gave over $500 for bail — about 40% more than the dental pain group, in line with previous studies. They responded to the threat on life’s meaning and order by affirming their basic values, perhaps as a coping mechanism.

But, the participants in this group who took Tylenol were not nearly as harsh in setting bail. These results suggest that their existential suffering was ‘treated’ by the headache drug.

A second study confirmed these results using video clips. People who watched a surreal video by director David Lynch and took the sugar pill judged a group of rioters following a hockey game most harshly, while those who watched the video and took Tylenol were more lenient.

The study demonstrates that existentialist dread is not limited to thinking about death, but might generalize to any scenario that is confusing or surprising — such as an unsettling movie.

“We’re still taken aback that we’ve found that a drug used primarily to alleviate headaches can also make people numb to the worry of thinking about their deaths, or to the uneasiness of watching a surrealist film,” says Randles.

The researchers believe that these studies may have implications for clinical interventions down the road.

“For people who suffer from chronic anxiety, or are overly sensitive to uncertainty, this work may shed some light on what is happening and how their symptoms could be reduced,” Randles concludes.

Researchers at McGill University’s Psychology Dept. has been able to show that playing and listening to music has clear benefits for both mental and physical health. In particular, music was found both to improve the body’s immune system function and to reduce levels of stress. Listening to music was also found to be more effective than prescription drugs in reducing anxiety prior to surgery.

“We’ve found compelling evidence that musical interventions can play a health care role in settings ranging from operating rooms to family clinics,” says Prof. Levitin. “But even more importantly, we were able to document the neurochemical mechanisms by which music has an effect in four domains: management of mood, stress, immunity and as an aid to social bonding.”

Indeed, the information gathered as part of this first large-scale review of the literature showed that music increased both immunoglobulin A, an antibody that plays a critical role in immunity of the mucous system, and natural killer cell counts (the cells that attack invading germs and bacteria). Levitin and his postgraduate research fellow, Dr. Mona Lisa Chanda, also found that listening to and playing music reduces levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, in the body.

The authors suggest a number of areas for future experiments in the field. These include uncovering the connection between oxytocin, the so-called “love drug”, group affiliation and music; administering the drug naltrexone (an opioid antagonist used during alcohol withdrawal) to uncover whether musical pleasure is promoted by the same chemical systems in the brain activated by other forms of pleasure such as food; and experiments in which patients are randomly assigned to musical intervention or a rigorously matched control condition in post-operative or chronic pain trials. Suitable controls might include films, TV, comedy recordings, or audio books.
Finally, the authors lay out a framework for future research with questions such as are the beneficial effects of music due to distraction, mood induction, feelings of social bonding/support, or other factors? What are the different effects, if any, of playing vs. listening to music? Are some people more likely to experience positive effects of music than others? If so, what individual differences (e.g. personality traits, genetic or biological factors) contribute to the effectiveness of music interventions? What is the role of oxytocin, “the love drug” in mediating musical experience? What stimuli can be used as a basis of comparison to match music along dimensions of arousal, attractiveness or lack thereof, engagement, and mood induction?The research was funded by the Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council (NSERC) and the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council (SSHRC).

To read the article/ an abstract of the article: Trends in Cognitive Science: http://www.cell.com/trends/cognitive-sciences/

ᔥ McGill University